meのつもり

Sunday, February 26, 2006

But for every one of those, there's one of these.

Meet the Bolf. Boyfriend for a whopping 3 (or was it 4??) years, and my best friend since we broke up. And officially the best bloke in the world. I can't imagine my life without him, and I know no-one's ever going to get my jokes like he did. I miss watching TV with him, drinking his awful cups of tea, I miss the awesome sandwiches he made, I miss the way he knows all the punchlines of my jokes, I miss the world we lived in together. I miss his random anger, his appreciation of me naked, being woken up by him shouting at me for stealing the duvet. I miss beating him at Madden (go jagwaaaars!) and getting my ass kicked at Virtua Fighter..

He gives me faith in people. Thank you Bolf, miss you!

why.......?????

Do you ever get the feeling that some people are just put here to annoy you? I know someone who's not quite a friend, not a boyfriend, probably just someone I meet every so often who then annoys me immensly. Once a month, or every 2 months he'll call and invite me on a date. Me, having too much free time, usually agrees and goes along. Now our first few dates were great. His groping was verging on desperation, but luckily I'm a fast runner. I was stupid enough to think it might actually be going somewhere, when he just vanished off the radar. And I'm not very good at chasing people when they do this - I just figure if they were interested they wouldn't vanish. So I file them in "brain cells to lose when drunk" and move on.

But then he appeared again, and some part of my brain (probably the bit killed by alcohol) thought "why not? what harm could a date do?" Cue me in mild shock in a restaurant, trying to steer the conversation away from..suicide. Nice conversation killer, there..(no pun, really, I don't have the mental strength). The thought that I should run was soon overshadowed by the thought that, as the date got longer and more torturous, that maybe faking some mental disorder and the resultant suicide would be my only escape. Who knows, maybe he was doing the same and hoping I'd get the hint and leave。苦笑。 So we end the date on a promise he's not going to leave it 2 months to call again, we will go out again very very soon. I say ok, but mean "I'm changing my phone number as we speak."

So, 2 months later he gets in touch again. Oh, I really didn't see that coming. *rolls eyes* Says, lets get together sometime. Me, responds with full-body shudder, hides under the bed. But stupid stupid me, gets bored. I have a free evening and call him up. Yes, he's free. What time? 6?I offer..only to be hit with "ok..oh wait, I'm sick, I can't come." (there was, probably a 6 second gap between asking what time and saying he was sick, for those of you thinking he may have been struck down by a fast-moving virus. Well, maybe he was, but I have no sympathy)

...youwhatnow?

at what point did you forget you were sick? Or are you such a phenominally bad liar that you din't even realise how little sense that made?

Ok, I'm giving this guy a hard time, but it's my own fault for not giving up, really. I just have this stupid part of my brain, you know, the part that thinks it's fun to throw yourself down vertical drops on a bmx bike..but mentally. Bless those kamikaze love games..

Wednesday, February 22, 2006

ペンギンみたいに、出来ました。

無事に帰りました!スノーボードって、すごい楽しい。。精一杯転んだ!
また行きたい!
筋肉痛がひどかったけど、気持ちよかった。。

Rabbits, the end of the world.

Ok, to explain that logic, I'm watching Day After Tomorrow. Day After Tomorrow=Jake Gyllenhall=Donnie Darko=giant rabbits.. See, a giant rabbit could make any movie worth watching. I have a feeling the reason I loved Donnie Darko was not so much because of the issues it raised about time travel, mental powers etc, but just because it had a giant rabbit in it.

North was also a great movie - not only Bruce Willis and a giant rabbit - Bruce Willis WAS the giant rabbit. Celluloid perfection. Now imagine Die Hard with a giant rabbit. Excellent. Lord of the Rings. Elves are over-rated. Giant rabbits would have rocked. AI. Demolish the entire movie, run footage of a giant rabbit doing anything for the whole tedious 17 hours, and I would have felt a hell of a lot less like burning the cinema down.

Wednesday, February 08, 2006

すべるぞ!

明日はじめてスノーボーに行きます!
楽しみだけど、実は、私ものすごい不器用なんです。 
普通は、道を歩きながら、街灯にぶつけてしまったこともあるし。。先週指2本折りそうになったし。。

それにしても、楽しみです。 


どの骨折るか賭けようじゃないか?と思ってるくらい不器用。。皆さん、当ててみてください!

Monday, February 06, 2006

Things that make me happy.

Because, idiots aside, I'm the happiest bunny. And here in no particular order are the things that contribute to my mojo..

My family - of course that's an obvious one, but I love them so much and no-one makes me laugh until I want to throw up quite like they do..

My job, my students, my co-workers - really, is it ok to get paid for laughing that much every day?

Bleach - the manga, the anime, the pencil case. When I grow up I want to be Ichigo. Despite being a girl. Hey, I can pull off funky coloured hair and a ridiculously arsey attitude anytime, foo.. http://www.tv-tokyo.co.jp/anime/bleach/main_index.html

Deathnote - I've only just started reading this but I'm a fan. Because when all the thinking gets too hard, I can just think, who is cuter? Hot psychopath Light? Cutesy scrunchy hunched up L? Mad bug-eyed Ryuuk? Today I'm in an L mood. Just because he sits like me.

Monday night TV 1 - HeyHeyHey, Downtown being responsible for teaching me Kansai ben..akan! (yeah that's probably all I learnt)

Monday night TV 2 - Kissya "Dude, she admits she's cheated on you with 1500 hundred people during the 2 weeks you've been dating and STILL you take her back??! " Watching cute people get screwed over shouldn't be fun, but hell I watch it happen to me week in week out, so it's kind of reassuring to know there are others out there..

Monday night TV 3 - SMAPSMAP. the cooking I can take or leave, but the sketches are just too much..from memory (so please correct me if it turns out I've dreamed any of this) the spaceman in ancient Egypt..the small Nakai-kun in Goro's head that tries to help him out of tough situations by getting him to act like a freaked out monkey..the power ranger ripoff where they tried to attack each other with flowers..

Monday night TV 4 - ainori, responsible for all the Japanese I know. Just wish everyone in real life came with subtitles.

And today, finding myself in a post on Ricks very cool blog. Thanks dude! But now I owe you even more drinks..argh.. check out his blog here, written in a language that makes sense, about stuff that's cool..when I grow up I'm gonna be Ichigo, and my blog's gonna be like that.. http://megaijin.squarespace.com/

ふ。。ふ。。ふられた?またふられたのか??

いや、
もう!最低最悪。。
ふられたんです とは言いたいけど、付き合わなかったボケ、あのヤロウ、もう。。腹立つ。。

友達だと思い込んだ。一緒にカラオケや食事に行った。 話しやすくて、面白くて。。いや、それ全部ウソだったのかな。。と思ってるくらい怒ってる。 

最初から彼との仲がほんとによくて、「一緒にいると楽しい」 「すごい可愛い」 「出逢ってよかった、心からそう思う」という口先も彼は出してしまった。 私、だまされた、バカ。。 ていうか、彼は私のこと好きだったとは思ってなったけど、友達として彼にとって大切な存在だと思ってた。 カップルにならず、友達でずっとなかよくて。。でも突然連絡しても返事は返ってこなかった。。彼やっと、彼女できたのかなと、うれしくて。。

そして、私メールで「ひま?食事にでも行く?」
彼、「忙しい」   ん、それだけでわかるよね。。
私 「どうしたの?大丈夫?」
彼 「これから連絡とらないほうがいい。 バイバイ。」

何も言わなかった、あぜんとさせた。。(それって、ほんとめずらしいけど。。)

バカやろう、彼も、私も。。友達よ、ふられないでしょ?絶対ふられない!
もう。

先言ったこと取り消したい。。彼だけがバカ。。最低最悪最バカ最ムカつく最時間の無駄男。



すっきりしたよね