meのつもり

Monday, April 24, 2006

Don't hurt my feeling!

"Watch out," said my friend the other day, "else you might wake up with a feeling."

She had a point. Lately I've been so cynical about relationships (thanks suicide-boy) that, on the outside at least, I couldn't even get worked up about a good prospect. On the inside is a different story.

Somewhere beneath the layers of cynicism, hurt and sheer terror, there lurks a soft squidgy feeling. It doesn't get out much. It blinks if suddenly exposed to sunlight. It's scared of loud noises (it's also scared of the way yama-pi makes my tummy feel..) and it's worried that if people knew it existed, they'd track it down and poke it. Or get all suicidal on its ass (ok, I have to let that go..)

In all honesty, I had forgotten it was there..
And then someone tracked it down and poked it.
And now, it's taking me over. Seriously. I caught myself singing Michael Jackson's "The Way You Make Me Feel," in the shower this morning. I didn't even know I knew that song..