Wednesday, August 23, 2006

Me and my big, hard, throbbing..mouth?

My mouth gets me into a lot of trouble. Really, it's nothing to do with me. It's a whole independent operation. But whatever I say, surely it can't deserve the punishment I received tomight. Well, maybe a little, but I still take no responsibilty.

My (platonic, male) friend was coming to visit for the weekend. We were mailing each other, arranging when he was arriving, how much we were going to embarrass ourselves in public, and where he was going to stay. Being the nice, loving, big hearted friend that I am (stop snickering in the back) I said I'd let him crash on the floor, as long as he promised not to sneak a feel in the night. I also assured him I'd keep my hands to myself.


He seemed to get a little carried away with this. Weird.

*insert Wayne's World style wobbly screen, flashback* Just the other day I thought it would be a great idea to send what could be vaguely described as gravia shots of my rack to the boyf. His reaction? "Were you drunk?" fell slightly short of the "Sexy rack!" I was expecting.*end flashback*

Obviously, rather than emailing him my nudity, I should have just written "never touch me, ever, and I don't wanna touch you either, urg, gay!"

Why? Well, remember above mentioned, carried-away-by-me-saying-I'd-keep-my hands-to-myself platonic friend? Next thing I know, he's mailed me to tell me parts of him are getting big, and he's gonna have to deal with it. Now, knowing his sense of humour is as twisted as mine, I just took it that he was joking and told him to go to bed. Then, he calls, and without even bothering to buy me dinner or complement the rack, comes.

I've been doing dating all wrong it seems.
Sexy pictures=no reaction
Telling guys the thought of touching them makes you phsyically ill=literally exploding with excitement.


  • dude, you spelled "physically" wrong. ha ha, ho ho..heee heeee....who am I?

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 12:29 AM  

  • try this on for a slimey combo of both of our most ICK experiences.,
    " oooo,,Ive just cum in my bathtub"


    "I knew you would."

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 12:33 AM  

  • whats cute,black and hairy and tickles your face?

    Butt mohican!

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 12:37 AM  

  • ok i'll stop the madness now

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 12:38 AM  

  • 1) if I did, then so did you foo'!

    2) i feel violently ill! now those two images will never ever be seperated in my head..then again, if i do touch someone's "area", i damn well make sure i kiss them after! mwahaha

    3)aah, butt mohicans. At least if you turned him on his head, no-one would notice the difference..

    4) if you did, i probably wouldn't recognise you anymore!

    By Blogger me, at 1:26 AM  

  • You send platonic friends pictures of you rack? wow... you've got the luckiest friends on earth!

    By Anonymous rick, at 10:58 AM  

  • NSU - 4efer, 5210 - rulez

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 1:39 AM  

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